Wednesday, 27 February 2008

Diary Entry from the Road #2

A little worse for wear today. Yesterday was full on and, while I'm coping, the temptation to just stay in my room and sleep for a couple of hours is high (I just snuck back to the room during the lunch break).

I don't really have an excuse as I broke one of my travelling rules - no big meals. It helps to eat very little and/or go vegetarian as I find that food on the road is a bit rich and my body spends too much energy processing meals instead of concentrating.

The advantage of eating more is, of course, being able to drink more, but I've successfully stayed away from the slops (mostly).

I had a good 6 hours sleep due to my favourite relaxation technique - lying in a hot bath with a good album on the mp3 player. Last night it was Keane's Hopes and Fears and tonight it will either be Massive Attack's Collected or Keane's Under the Iron Sea.

Anyway, time to check the emails and psyche myself up for the afternoon session.

Tuesday, 26 February 2008

Diary Entry from the Road #1

I'm away on business this week and I'm wondering, as I eat breakfast on the balcony, enjoying the sun rise over the ocean ... am I a prick because I'm upset that the toast is cold?

Famous person count: 2 (David Helfgott and Angry Anderson)

Friday, 15 February 2008



The lack of posting was brought to you by a week's holiday in one of the wildest, most dangerous parts of Western Australia.

That's right! Busselton.

Tuesday, 5 February 2008

Rules of Accounting

Just because I can

It occurred to me the other day that, since I've spent more than a decade in the workforce, I should have some words of wisdom.

So, here are 2BarRiff's 5 Rules of Accounting:

1. It's all about the cash.
Everything else is smoke and mirrors.

2. Don't let anyone know how you do things.
If they knew how easy it was then they'd be doing it.

3. The only thing harder than trying to manage a result that looks bad is trying to manage a result that looks too good.
A Bad result means you get to interrogate everyone because they missed something.
A Good result means you have to interrogate yourself because you missed something.

4. It's not about the numbers, it's what the numbers mean.
Accountants deal in information, not numbers. But remember Rule 1.

5. Making the hard decisions can be easy.
Remember, as an accountant no-one expects you to have either a conscience, a personality or friends. This can be a plus. The minus is that it only works down. The guy above you is a bigger prick than you are.

Am I Better Yet?

Ok ... how about now?

I mentioned during my last therapy session that, while I am feeling better more often, I don't think I've shaken the depression.

The response was for my counselor to ask what told me that I was still depressed.

My answer was to refer to bad sleeping patterns (still) and just the general feeling. It wasn't much of an answer and obviously something that requires more thinking about.

It's interesting to think about these types of questions - How do I know that I'm better? How do I know that I'm not?*

I guess the easiest way to work out if I'm better is to stop taking the anti-depressants and see if I feel the same. (BTW, I said it was the easiest way, I didn't say it was the smartest way)

At the end of the day, I'm guessing that depression, or at least, my depression, is a combination of depth and frequency. If I was to be in the state defined as 'well', I would still experience a range of emotions. However, for me, depression is about experiencing certain emotions (the darker ones) deeper and more often than a 'well' person would.

I have my unexplained blue moods, my inability to concentrate, my procrastination and my decision avoidance. Also my inability to form coherent paragraphs :-)

A better question might be: 'What am I listening to when deciding one way or the other?'

What I am listening to is the small voice during the quiet moments that says "No, you're not better yet. There's more work to do, so be patient"

* The mere fact that I can ask these questions is a positive for me. I can see that parts of me are starting to look forward to being better. Hope is a wonderful thing.