But 2BarRiff is nothing if not a helpful sort. So, I have done the hard work and come up with the Top 10 Reasons Why 2BarRiff Shouldn't Have Depression:
- I have 2 beautiful children
- They think the world of me
- My wife is the sexiest woman you will ever meet
- She thinks the world of me, too
- I love her to bits
- I have a degree
- And 2 postgraduate qualifications
- I'm a member of 2 professions
- I earn a six figure income
- My life is going to plan (well, except for the depression. That wasn't in the plan)
It doesn't help. Not a bit. Because my depression isn't like that. It's random and irrational and just a pain in the neck. I can love something and hate something (eg my Stick) and go through all degrees between within a very short amount of time.
The good news is that the good days are generally outnumbering the bad days. I have techniques to follow (more on that later) to help me when I'm in a depressed state and I have techniques to follow when I am not. So far, I've been able to see that the application of these things has had an effect and that gives me and Madame2Bar plenty of encouragement.
I guess the lesson to learn, if there is one, is that it's no good beating myself up about having this - I have it and that's all the brainpower I need to allocate to that thought - no what ifs or shouldn't haves. Life is for living and my 'living' just happens to involve depression.