Monday 30 July 2007

Ok, let's talk about me for a while ...

Now that everyone is hale and hearty in the 2Bar household, there is time to spend on my favourite topic - me!

One of the ideas behind me blogging is to shine a light on my journey with depression. To perhaps throw a few ideas out there, deconstruct some thought patterns and let the healing begin. Or continue. Or maybe even finish.

Of course, I could just drop it into a Word document for Madame2Bar to read, but where would the fun be if it were only her to read? So let's put it out in teh interwebs for, well, one or two other people to read as well.

I don't intend to reveal too much detail as some parts of my journey with depression have involved very public events and I do like my anonymity - on the web at least. In real life I do talk about depression a fair bit and try to encourage others rather than keeping mum. Of course, I am judicious in who I tell and in what situations e.g. private chat with close friend - yes; person next to me on plane - no.

Interestingly, since being diagnosed with depression, I've found that all my siblings suffer from it too. I have a pet theory, based on working with my psychologist, that my parents (or at least my father) have suffered from depression as well. It's not an uncommon thing to 'catch' it from your parents but it was very weird to learn and a bit of an 'aha' moment.

Along with my own battle with the black dog, I have another major concern - how do I equip my kids to deal with it, knowing that they are at least highly likely to suffer from the same thing?

At the moment, they know that Daddy is sick and/or sad sometimes, prone to spending Sundays in bed and often needs a cuddle and a kiss. Luckily, we've raised the Princess and the Bomb to be 'cuddle dependent' so close contact and frequent protestations of love between us all are the rule.

In later life, I hope to be able to talk about depression more with them, sharing my struggles and the ways I've battled and, Lord willing, beaten it. I hope to tell them how much they've been part of my healing and that they are the reason I've fought against it.

For now, it's about creating as many opportunities as possible to be well - this site being one of them.

1 comment:

Icy said...

I suspect if you can talk about it with them, they won't be prone to it, and if they are, they won't be afraid of getting help.

Problems seem to develop when you don't have the skills to be able to talk about what you're feeling (both Paul and I have had this and those bad habits were taught to us by our parents)

Teach your kids how to talk about their feelings and you'll be fine.